We’re on day 4 of waiting. I have to admit that I have a bit
of a negative feeling. Chances are that I’m just not allowing myself to get my
hopes up too much. I guess I could just be trying to protect myself. Not that I
honestly believe that it will make bad news any easier, but it’s worth a shot.
Speaking of shots… I’M SO SICK OF THEM!!! I’m so sore that
it’s hard to sleep. Both sides of my butt feel like they have big tumors in
them. On Saturday, right before my husband had to give me a shot, I freaked out.
A hysterical freak out. An ugly cry. I called my mom in the middle of it (sorry
about that) because I didn’t know what else to do. I recently saw something on
Pinterest that said something like “No matter how old I get, when I feel bad I
just want my mom”. So true. I calmed down a little after that, but it took me a
while to start being rational again. These meds are getting too hard to handle.
Progesterone and estrogen overload.
My strength may be weakening a bit, but my heart is still in
it. Hopefully, next year at this time I will be celebrating Mother’s Day as a
mom. God, I hope so. Not that my day was bad yesterday. My two beautiful god
children (Jax and Molly) bought me flowers and I spent the day with a few
wonderful women. I know I’m meant to be a mom. I just don’t know why it’s been
so difficult to get there. I’ll be testing soon…. SO ANXIOUS!!!!
