GO, CAM, GO!

Okay. I’m getting close. I’m getting close to not being able to do this anymore. Having Violet home is absolutely amazing. However, my poor little girl is SO incredibly constipated because of the Neosure. The only way we could get her to go is by using a little liquid glycerin suppository. Tonight, I have done everything I can to try to help her out and all I can do is watch her struggle. It’s so sad. Our pediatrician wants to make sure she gains weight at home before he switches to the lower calorie formula… right now we are using the recipe for 24 cals. Violet’s little body does not seem to like this very much. And then there’s the fact that Cameron’s still in the hospital and we aren’t sure when he’s coming home. If all goes well, it should be soon.

Dennis has been sick so he hasn’t been able to really enjoy Violet being home. It sucks because we waited for this time for so long and now he has to wear masks and gloves around her. We know it could be worse, though, and we are so blessed that she is home.

My sweet Cameron will undergo surgery, yet again, tomorrow. He is going to get his hernia repaired. I know it’s a very routine procedure, but that means nothing when it’s your baby. He’s doing very well with his breathing and his feeds. He had his feeding tube pulled yesterday! We are so proud of him! I’m so scared that all of his hard work is going to suffer a setback because of the surgery. I have faith in my strong little boy, though. He’s come so, so far from that 2 lb 10 oz baby. I know he’ll recover… I just hope it’s very fast.

2 days after his surgery he is going to have his carseat challenge. It’s almost time to come home for Cameron! We are so excited and so ready for our family to be complete. Most likely, Cameron will come home on oxygen. I really hate that. I want to take the tape off his chubby, little cheeks and just stare at him. I want him to be able to breathe free and clearly without any help. With that said, again, I know we are lucky. Our babies have overcome every obstacle they were supposed to. All the need to do is continue to work hard. I still feel so guilty that all I do is ask them to be strong and fight. They were and are so little and didn’t deserve any of this. I wish more than anything I could take their pain and their struggles. I would do anything to protect these babies and I so wish I could have. I’m not over delivering early. I don’t think I ever will be. I feel like I owe them the world for what they’ve gone through. I asked them every single day to get big and strong and to fight for their lives. They’ve done so amazingly. I know now that I will never doubt their abilities. If they could do what they’ve done the past few months, then I know they can do absolutely anything. I’m so, so proud to call them my babies… my miracles.

As for Cam’s surgery, I will keep everyone updated. Thank you for all of the care and concern. Violet sometimes sings “Go, Cam, Go!” to the tune of “Go, Cubs, Go!” to pump him up for things. Maybe you could all sing a little bit for Cam tonight and help get my baby through his surgery!!!