We're ALL Home!

Cameron is home. The emotions I felt the day we brought him home are so hard to explain or compare to anything. I’ve never felt the things I’ve felt in the last 3 months and I don’t think I will ever be able to do my emotions justice because I just can’t find the words. On January 15, 2013, Dennis and I drove to Christ hospital for our baby for the last time. We circled one of the incredibly annoying parking garages for the last time.  We hopped in the elevators to the second floor and showed the security guard our “parent/caregiver” bracelet for the last time. We were buzzed in and entered the gowning room for the last time. We stepped through the large double doors to the NICU for the last time. I scrubbed in for the last time with a smile and my heart pounding.  I greeted my sweet baby in the NICU for the last time.

Trying to hold it together that morning was a difficult task to say the least. I cried the entire car ride over and of course as soon as I saw my baby I was choked up again. I couldn’t believe the day had finally arrived. Had it? It felt like a dream. Actually, were the past 3 months real? It all feels like some strange dream. While the dream may be over since the babies are home, I still kind of feel like I’m in that weird state between sleep and awake. The feeling where you are groggy and can’t tell if everything was a dream or not… I’m not sure if I’ll ever accept the past 3 months as a reality. Weird.

Back to Cam’s homecoming day! We were so happy that Nurse Megan was there with us on discharge day. She took care of him right after he was born and has been with us ever since. She’s been through our ups with us and she’s been through our downs with us. She’s given us hope and support and has been there for Cameron on the roughest days of his life. It was only fitting that she be there to see him graduate. How fitting that Megan was the one to cut off my “parent/caregiver” bracelet. How fitting that she was the one to walk Cameron down to our waiting car. How fitting that she was the last face we’d see as we pulled away from the hospital.

Before we took Cameron downstairs to wait for Dennis to pull up, I had to make a stop in the gowning room to remove my gown. I flashed back to the first time I was in the gowning room. I remember wondering what the hell was going on and what I was doing there and how I was going to do this every day for at least 3 months. The time did not fly by like people said it would. The time dragged. But in that moment, I couldn’t believe how far we'd come and that we had finally made it.

We arrived at our home and were greeted by a big sign that said “There’s No Place Like Home”. My sister had made the sign and my mom hung up balloons, just as they had for Violet. My parents, Violet and Ivy were all anxiously waiting for us. The picture was finally complete. Our family was finally home.

Dennis and I have not slept much (at all) these past few days. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sleep deprived as we are, I couldn’t be happier. Everything is perfect. My sweet Violet Laurie and Cameron Patrick are home at last and ready to start their lives. I will never, ever let them forget how incredible they are and how hard they fought just to live.They are amazing. My Papa said it perfectly the other day, “The last piece to a beautiful puzzle”. While this puzzle is finally complete, we’re moving on to the next. We can’t wait to see what’s in store for our family… only great things, I know it.